Last year, a kid at work asked me to buy Världens viktigaste bok (“The World’s Most Important Book”). I looked it up and promptly bought it. Since then, it has been constantly lended out or in reservations, and only now have I had the opportunity to take it home and share a few pictures.
Sex ed books always get a dual reaction from the kids: “Ew, that’s gross!” and “Can I borrow it?” - quite often both from the same kid. :-) This has proven more popular than any of the others, which gladdens me, because it’s so good. It’s not just “Let’s tell the kids the basics about reproduction so they don’t get a shock when they enter puberty.” It’s “Let’s tell the kids everything we wish that we had been told in middle school.”
As you can tell from the pictures, it takes care to include a variety of bodies and sexual orientations. It also questions gender roles, portraying both the “factory” where boy things and girl things are packed into neat boxes, and the kids outside the factory trading with each other. The text is much the same. Take this excerpt, for instance:
“Many people who have a vagina feel like girls, and many who have a penis feel like boys. But it’s not always true. Sometimes the body doesn’t fit with how you feel. You can have a boy body but feel like a girl. Or have a girl body but feel like a boy. Your body doesn’t decide who you are, you decide it for yourself. You’re the one who knows if you’re a girl or a boy. Some people don’t feel like they’re boys or girls at all. Maybe you feel like both, or something else entirely. Or you don’t want to choose. There aren’t always words to fit with what you’re feeling, but that doesn’t make the feeling less true.”
The kids at work are conservative, as kids often are. (They have questioned both the fact that I’m still single, and the somewhat androgynous way I dress.) But they’re reading this stuff, in the library, in the classroom, at home. The school nurse, too, has recommended it as reading. I have every hope that for at least some of them, the message will be received.
I WANT THIS BOOK.
This is brilliant and I wish I’d been handed this when I was a kid.
Where the fuck was this book when I was a child??
Holy shit, this is incredible.
The Best Birth Control In The World Is For Men by Jon Clinkenbeard
If I were going to describe the perfect contraceptive, it would go something like this: no babies, no latex, no daily pill to remember, no hormones to interfere with mood or sex drive, no negative health effects whatsoever, and 100 percent effectiveness. The funny thing is, something like that currently exists.
The procedure called RISUG in India (reversible inhibition of sperm under guidance) takes about 15 minutes with a doctor, is effective after about three days, and lasts for 10 or more years…
Oh, and when you do decide you want those babies, it only takes one other injection of water and baking soda to flush out the gel, and within two to three months, you’ve got all your healthy sperm again.
The trouble is, most people don’t even know this exists. And if men only need one super-cheap shot every 10 years or more, that’s not something that gets big pharmaceutical companies all fired up, because they’ll make zero money on it (even if it might have the side benefit of, you know, destroying HIV).
let us bow our heads
THERE IS NOTHING COMPLEX OR DIFFICULT ABOUT THE CLITORIS I’M SO MAD LIKE IT’S RIGHT THERE AND YOU JUST GOTTA TOUCH IT
………I don’t understand why the clitoris is such a mystery
it’s right there
I mean, if you’re a lazy fuck and you don’t care about your partners’ pleasure, then maybe it’s difficult to figure out
but for fucks’ sake, it’s right there, it engorges with blood and everything to make it easier to find
srsly tho it’s RIGHT THERE
maybe we should retaliate by claiming that we can’t find the penis
“it’s right there!”
“no those are my balls”
“in here somewhere?”
“that’s my anus please stop prodding at it”
nah u gotta treat it like a rubik’s cube, u kno, twist it around until all the sides match up
nature’s whack-a-molenature’s whack-a-mole sweet jesus god almighty let me die here
Not ever seeing this depiction of the
femalehuman anatomy is evidence that patriarchy has certainly had too much control over the education of the human body and human sexuality and reproduction.
Corrected. But yes.
This is why I don’t believe guys who tell me that the condom is too small.
When I was in middle school, we had a woman come teach us about contraception, and literally the first thing she told us was ‘Ladies, if a guy ever tells you he can’t wear condoms because they’re too small, he’s lying’ and then proceeded to open a condom and stretch it up her forearm up to her elbow.
This is not relative to this blog but I didn’t know it was possible.
I’d just like to say that things like hands and feet are of course going to stretch out condoms as they have bones. Penises are a lot softer and more sensitive so it is important to find condoms that do fit. You may be able to do the above with regular condoms but it may cut off circulation or be uncomfortable for certain penises. You DEFINITELY can find a condom that fits, go up in sizes or try different brands as sizing is different, or try different styles or if all else fails use an internal condom. However, this is kind of spreading some misinformation. It can be difficult to hold an erection if you aren’t wearing the right size of condom, you may have pain or discomfort or cause circulation problems.
TheyFit condoms provide custom fit condoms. They have 95 different sizes and you can download and print a size kit for free. Delivery is also free.
Yeah my partner has real trouble with ‘normal’ condoms because he’s kind of… Girthy. We buy wide ones.
I mean obviously he can get the condom on if it’s “too small” but we won’t be able to screw because first it’ll hurt due to the circulation getting half cut off, and second it’ll go down due to that and won’t be hard enough to penetrate.
Yeah gaiz, if a person ever tells you they can’t use a condom cause they’re too small, throw a pack of L or XL condoms in their face. They exist in most popular lines of condoms and they’re really not difficult to find. Even if they’re hung like a horse, I’m sure you can find condoms to fit.
[Image text: “When you refer to your status as CLEAN you imply someone with HIV is DIRTY. End the stigma.”]
Good thinking. Sometimes we fail to realize what our words mean because we never stop to think about ‘well, what does the opposite imply?’, ‘what am I saying about everyone who isn’t me?’.
YES. I say this all the time. People with STIs aren’t dirty.
Oh, the bolded, so much. Always keep this in mind, really.
For more info, check out Hysteria, very amusing film about the origin of the vibrator. :)
We had a dental dam laid out on our Freshers’ Week stall & so many of you asked us what it was & how it worked that we thought we’d write a short introductory post, which should hopefully answer all your questions.
What is a dental dam?
A dental dam is a thin rectangle of latex which can be used during oral sex to reduce the risk of STI transmission - they work in the same way as condoms, by creating a barrier between bodily fluids & skin. People often view oral sex as less risky, but both herpes & HPV can be transferred through mouth to vulva contact, so it’s important to protect yourself.
Dental dams are also great for reducing your risk of getting a vaginal infection & for annilingus, since they prevent any direct contact between the mouth & anus, which some people might not feel comfortable with.
You can buy dental dams in most large pharmacies, get them from the GUM clinic, or though the C:Card scheme on campus. They come in lots of different flavours, or you could add flavoured lube (although be careful if you’re susceptible to yeast infections, since sugary flavoured lubes will up your risk of infection).
So, how do I use a dental dam?
- First off, check the packet. Dental dams usually come in a thin, film packet, so check that there aren’t any tears or that the packet is particularly wrinkled, since these both up the chances of the dental dam being damaged. Next check that the dental dam is within it’s use-by date, & has a CE Mark, & preferably also a kitemark (these guarantee it is safe & effective).
- If everything looks ok, open the packet, being careful not to tear the dental dam itself. Dentals usually come folded up with a little latex band to keep them in place, so take this off & then unfold the dam.
- At this point you can add lube (not oil-based as this will make it more likely to split) to the dental dam (on one or both sides) & place it on either the vulva or anus, making sure it doesn’t get folded.
- You can now perform cunnilingus or annilingus to your’s & your partner’s delight! The important thing to remember is never to move the dam from one orifice to another, & never turn the dental dam over since this stops it from being an effective form of protection. Feel free to add some extra lube if it dries out.
- Once you’re done, wrap the dental dam up in some tissue & throw it in the bin. Dental dams are non-reusable so make sure you have a new one each time you have oral sex, & for each person who has oral sex performed on them.
I can’t get hold of dental dams, are there any alternatives?
If you can’t get a hold of them, both latex gloves & condoms can be used as a replacement. Simply cut the glove or condom down the sides to create a rectangle, then you can use it just the same as a dental dam.
In a push, you can also use non-microwaveable saran wrap or cling film, although this is obviously not ideal & likely to be less comfortable.
Can I use a dental dam for scissoring?
Absolutely! STIs can be passed between vaginas, so if you & your partner both have a vulva & want to stay safe whilst grinding or scissoring a dental dam is a great option. One of you simply clips the dental dam in place using a garter belt or a dental dam harness (although these are usually expensive & difficult to find), & then you’re free to go. Just make sure that the dam doesn’t tear or shift & you’ll both be protected.
Dental dams are rarely discussed in sex education at school (this is part of a wider problem with schools only focusing on penis in vagina sex) but they’re a great way to get the maximum amount of fun out of sex whilst keeping you & your partner(s) safe.
Virginity is a social construct, meaning it’s not an actual physical thing. Having sex, any kind of sex in no way changes your body. It may change the way you view things, but it may not. Virginity as a concept can be damaging. People view virginity different. People view sex different. For some people sex is just a penis in a vagina but that’s a very narrow view. For many people sex is oral sex, manual sex, frottage and many other things. With any of these kinds of sex it’s possible to pass STIs or even with some to get pregnant. What constitutes sex then, and what constitutes virginity? We all have sexual things we haven’t tried, new things to discover and new things to experience but why draw that line in the sand? I understand wanting to communicate “I haven’t had sex”, but then you have to explain what sex means to you.
The word virgin itself and the concept has been used for many years to harm. virginity as a concept was made as a means for men to own women. If you look up the history of the concept (and really the concept of marriage as well) it was a way for men to ensure that they were in charge of their lineage and women were literally treated like objects. They were sold and if they weren’t “virgins” they were killed. Because the Hymen isn’t exactly the way we were taught women were taught that they had to kill an animal and save its blood to spill on their wedding bed so that their new husbands would be reassured that they were “virgins” and wouldn’t kill them.
These are things to take into account when you use the word “virgin”.
I tried to explain this to a customer once, who was looking for some kind of device/cream/pills (I can’t remember exactly) that was supposed to reconstruct the hymen. I told her it was a complete myth and that if anyone, even a doctor, told her that it was possible to discern whether she’d had sex or not, they were most definitely lying, either intentionally or unintentionally.
But they would definitely be lying.
Nobody, not a doctor, not your partner, not your parents, not your bedsheets, can actually tell whether you’re a virgin or not. Only you can know, and only you can define what that means for you. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.