Play guitar? Might still cut up your fingers, but could create a cathartic noise..
I don’t have a guitar anymore, had to give it away when I moved countries. :( Once I get a stable income I’ll probably look into getting another one, though this problem usually comes up when I’m watching a film or TV shows, and occasionally just before going to sleep or when I wake up. So playing guitar wouldn’t really be possible in those situations.. But thank you for the suggestion! Like I say, I probably will get a new one when I can, hopefully it will help with my anxiety in general. :)
I put band-aids on them, forces me to not be able to do anything. Writing can help, uses your fingers, drawing or painting.
It’s so annoying though when you do have to do something. Like, make food or wash dishes or turn pages in books or use the touchpad on the laptop.. pretty much anything! :P And like I said just above, I mostly do it when I’m already focusing on something else, like watching something or trying to sleep, etc. I usually try to go on tumblr and browse because I can do that with one eye on the screen, but although I’m completely addicted to tumblr, sometimes I can just get enough of it, and the internet in general.
Ladysourpuss pointed out to me though that it’s called dermatillomania, and reading the wiki article it’s considered similar to OCD. I’ve always had quite a few OCD behaviours and I have managed to replace them, with time.. for example, I used to count all my steps as a kid, and I managed to develop that into only counting when going up/down stairs and with time, I managed to stop doing it altogether (probably picking up some other behaviour to take its place).
I’m thinking if I can find a similar, non-harming behaviour, I might be able to replace them? And what I first thought of was EFT tapping, which involves tapping with your fingers at certain parts of your body. I went to a workshop for it once, for stress and anxiety, and it did work really well combined with breathing techniques and meditation, so I figure even if I only do the hand ones it might help? I’m gonna try it anyway, and putting this out there if anyone else wants to give it a try - look up EFT tapping points for the points to tap. I’ll update on how it goes. :)
I don’t know if this counts as self harm (I’m tagging it just in case and you have been warned), but.. when I feel stressed out, I tend to pick at and/or cut away the dead skin around my nails, and a lot of the time it goes far enough that too much live skin comes off with it. I also pick off skin off my lips, often to the point where it starts bleeding.
Sometimes I think I should just put bandages on all my fingers because it usually ends with me needing one or two anyway.
I just.. don’t know how to stop doing it. It has become partly a subconscious thing, and when I notice it I’ll snap my hands away from each other, but sometimes it’s a deliberate thing where I just can’t stop myself.
I need more things to do with my fingers. Sewing is usually good, apart from the bit where I stick my fingers with the needle when they’re already all torn up.. but I’m pretty much out of materials and ideas at the moment. Any other suggestions?
a friendly tip: if you feel the urge to self harm get an ice cube and hold it in your hand for a while. it relieves the compulsion in a less destructive way. therapists have used this with their patients and i have tried it myself it works pretty well
Okay wow this is now my favourite post on Tumblr. Signal boost into infinity.
(I was going to send this to secretsofthedisabled but ask box limits and such)
When I first saw this post, I did have some concern about “enabling” and things like that. But then I thought about it for awhile and I realized that it was not my place to decide how someone else should get better. And really, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for a person to want to know if the world cares about them or not. After my second suicide attempt, I called the one friend in my life that I could trust, and even just having that one person tell me that they cared was so, so helpful. I have some days when I feel like no one gives a shit about me, but even having a stranger smile at me while I’m getting my groceries makes things better. If one person telling me that I matter is enough to help, then it makes sense to me that someone would want a few hundred people— a small sampling of the world— to tell them that they care, even when that other person is a stranger.
It’s judgmental attitudes that assume the worst of people by focusing on “selfishness”, “drama”, “enabling”, etc., that contribute to people’s pain and suffering, and, in a way, why some people self-harm or hurt themselves in other ways. I don’t know this person and I could never understand everything they go through— therefore, it is not my right to decide for them if what they’re doing is helpful or not. I do know, however, that I have been there, and there were many times when I did things similar to this but people did not respond. During those moments, even one person saying that they cared might have changed things. That is so, so important, and it saves lives. That matters far more than our own shallow assumptions and prejudices. If there were a thousand posts like this I’d reblog them all, because people’s lives are more important than my own discomfort.
So, person that I barely know: I care. And so do other people.
Just gonna ad a few more
- Call a friend
- Look in the mirror naked—think only good things
- Watch your favorite childhood movie and take yourself back to that time
- Try on anything funky—your parents vintage, old costumes or even your own
- Write a journal, whether you plan to continue or not
- Blast music and dance like everyone is watching and you don’t even care
- Brush your hair 100 times
- Go for a run, or a bike ride, just get out and work out
- Try meditation—go to your happy place
- Anything else! :)
writing most of this down in my little self help book
Little self-help book? Brilliant idea.
A little self book is a wonderful idea! I have one. I decorate it with pretty things and write lists of happy things, and write down happy events. I recommend you make one! xoxo
This reminds me of something i did for a friend of mine.
I got a box and decorated it with pictures of us and our other friends and filled it with awesome stuff like this. It had hand written letters from me and other people, photographs, her favourite book, a bag of jelly beans because they’re her favourite, a cd that i burnt for her, and some other little things.
And because she had issues with self harm, i got her to tape her razors and scissors and other sharp objects down in the bottom of the box, under all of the nice stuff.. so that by the time she got down to the them, she wouldn’t feel like doing it as much any more.
It seems stupid, but she says it helped a lot.
Oh, that’s so so so thoughtful.
I need a sad box.
… because if you do any of these things to yourself, you’ll break my heart…
But don’t let my feelings come before yours - if it is what you want or need to do, I won’t stop you for selfish reasons or try to guilt trip you into anything. Just remember that I do love you, and I hope that knowledge will bring some light into your heart, and make you remember I am here for you, always.